A Rant from a Star Wars Fan

Once again, the best day of the week is upon us!

As many of you know, Star Wars is something near and dear to my heart. It is almost impossible to convey how fantastic that movie series is, and it certainly has a special place in my life (it even made it into my speech at graduation).

Ever since that fateful night when I was introduced to the exciting world of X-wings, lightsabers, Darth Vader, R2D2, and the Force (after a dinner of jambalaya with the parents during a rainstorm) I have been slightly obsessed. Post Death Star destruction, I became a Jedi Knight of the highest order, and proceeded to tromp up and down our stairs in a homemade cape slaying stormtroopers (my sister has since been converted to the dark side too!)

Star Wars offers everything all young boys dreams of… daring adventures, space battles, rescuing a damsel in distress, conquering evil, and becoming a caped hero that will have a myriad of epic poems written about them long after they’re gone. [Note:] Princess Leia is still the queen of beauty, hands down… :-)

Watch out for her mind tricks. I'm so going to marry her!

As many loyal fans will know, the Special Edition brought a few unexpected/unpleasant changes to the series, (seriously George, Han Solo is bad-ass enough to blast Greedo unprovoked), although there were some cool subtle changes in the special effects department. However, I had assumed that the Special Edition re-release would be the end of “additional content” being added to the series. Boy was I wrong…

Star Wars is such an important piece of my life that for my 18th birthday, we got a giant movie screen and watched the newly released (at the time) DVD version of Return of the Jedi. For 133 minutes, my high school companions and I enjoyed partaking in the freshly unboxed DVD, but then disaster struck. In the last 10 seconds of the movie, Hayden Christensen’s ugly mug appeared in the “Jedi ghost” scene and my world was forever ruined! The perfect balance attributed to the Star Wars trilogy had finally been upset…

It just doesn't have the same ominous affect...

I’ve weathered mediocre prequels (although Darth Maul and podracing were absolutely fantastic additions to the Star Wars world), saw Episode 3 at midnight my senior year of high school, and still remain loyal to the series (despite wanting to banish George Lucas to a foreign planet filled with ice forts, bitter cold, and wampas).

Ironically, we’ve come full circle in the “evolution of Star Wars.” My 25th birthday is approaching, and with it the Blu-ray re-release of Star Wars. Needless to say, I wasn’t all that shocked when the terrifying changes to the movies were released to the public. What bothers me is that these changes upset the whole balance of the trilogy and alter the story! Not sure if Lucas would agree, but I feel like we should re-cast Darth Vader as a pink-ponied warrior, simply to appeal to the little girls who may be watching… *sigh*

Fortunately, not only do I not own a Blu-ray player but my TV is so old that it wouldn’t make a bloody difference. Ahhh, the feeling of empowerment for not having to purchase the new discs! :-D

Thus concludes my rant… fortunately, a friend was able to share this awesome article that combines my two favorite things in the world (food excluded). How freaking fantastic! Now, if only triathlons resulted in epic poems being shared for generations…

Have your favorite childhood movies been tainted too?!

Picture credit 1.

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13 Comments

  1. My childhood dreams haven’t been shattered yet but I expect it to be soon. Due to the commonly accepted practices of TVs, movies, and real life becoming more violent and sexual, the decline in social morality, and the general accepting of the unacceptable (such as legalized gay marriage, open pornography) I would expect the next update of the Disney classic toi be entitlted, “Snow White and the 8 Dwarves” featuring Doc, Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, and the new all-American modern 8th dwraf . . . (drum roll please) . . . SLEEZY.” He probably won’t be English-speaking either, so may need to be sub-titled for those of us that still do.

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