Journey: The Cover Band

Good afternoon fellow citizens, and what a glorious day it is!

I’m feeling incredibly inspired today. I have resumed playing the trumpet with the Reno Pops (3 years later), received a new rockin’ (literally) bike for my birthday to carve up some gnarly trails in the hills, and am hot off the trails of a wonderful visit with the parental units. Plus, fall has arrived!! YES!!!

In a mild genius of stroke (heh), I have decided to begin a Journey cover band (but not really). Journey is one of my favorite bands, right behind AC/DC, Def Leppard, and Iron Maiden/Van Halen/Metallica. Regardless, Journey is completely awesome!

Without further ado I present the next cover set for the new Journey cover band: Expedition! [I included the original songs and/or a brief description as needed]

Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeegee-in’ – A sad story about a window cleaner who loses his wife due to his obsession with clean panes of glass. She just couldn’t compete with the soapy suds.

Meal in the Sky – An airline stewardess grows tired of a trying career and comes to grips that time keeps on ticking. You can only serve so many ready-to-eat meals before losing it completely! Not even free airline miles can save you from the monotony of recycled air…

Feeling That Cray – A high school cheerleader goes on a crazy rampage when the high school quarterback refuses to ask her to prom. [Note: per Urban Dictionary, the source of all things true and right, cray is defined as “No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative. It gets people going.”]

Youse Crying Now – After removing two phalanges, a Chicago mobster mocks his latest victim who refused to pay his debts. He joyfully enjoys the tears of pain and sorrow from his ex-customer.

Be Good To Everyone (But Yourself) – You know the type. The person who cares for the wants and needs of others, only to burn themselves out because they forgot to prioritize themselves over the others. Time to start practicing what you preach!

Don’t Stop Retrievin’ – A Golden Retriever in search of a fulfilling life comes to terms with what will be his greatest accomplishments – fetching the ball! No matter how tired or worn out he is feeling, he always finds great joy in chasing the little green orb that his master throws for him. And the adventure goes on, and on, and on… and he won’t stop, he won’t stop believing!

  • Don’t Stop Believin’
  • I also recommend checking out the version by Vitamin String Quarter, which my wife happened to walk down the aisle to – her choice even!

Broken Arms – You always should’ve known that there would be a price to pay, you just didn’t expect it to be both of your stumps. They’ll be coming to you with broken arms for the next two months…

Patiently – This election season too, shall pass. It’s only a matter of waiting patiently! Garrgghh!

I’ll Be Alright Without Moo – A vegetarian takes bold and slightly ridiculous strides into the world of a vegan diet, foregoing the pleasures of such delicious things as cow milk, cow cheese, beef, steak, and baby back ribs

Anyway You Hunt It – Running low on food? Anyway you hunt it, that’s the way you eat it! Crossbow, bear traps, shotgun, spear, machine gun – you kill it, we grill it! Nom, nom, nom.

Ask the Ronery – It’s tough being all alone, and like our friends from Team America: World Police found out, even dictators have their lonely hours.

Separate Ways (Twirls Apart) – A ballerina breaks up with her washed up boyfriend at the ripe old age of 16, and struggles to find a sense of purpose through her ballet studies since life in high school is meaningless without a boyfriend.



  1. Would love to see lyrics to your Journey parodies.

    Could Russell Aaron displace Weird Al as the most brilliant satire lyricist ever??

    1. I’m definitely not creative enough for the lyrics. That’s the hard part! And Weird Al’s genius shall never be passed… except for maybe his offspring… Weird Al Jr. the 3rd! Haha!

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